71
Weekend Activities / Contained!
« Last post by StoryGod on December 30, 2019, 02:02:34 am »The day arrived. The day was here. Tikvah wore her favorite argyle sweater, her blue skirt, and her filthy white tights that were torn in the toes and not the knees. She needed tights and new shoes for Rosh HaShannah. The school was off for day one and she had a place to go. She was old enough to pray part of the day and spend the rest of the time in kids' service if they had it. She was fully ten years old now.
Albina put a candle into a piece of iced cake and slipped her class ring over it. The kids at the table Saturday night sung Happy Birthday, and Tikvah made a wish and blew out the candle. Study hall had been a blur after that, but Tikvah had spent half the evening finishing her English and then reading her book on light. The book was consolation. Yes, that was the same words used to describe the Haf Torah. It meant making a sad person feel better. It was a great word.
There were no presents, but Albina promised to help Tikvah buy some tights. Her mother sent her a birthday card and an Amazon gift certificate for fifty dollars. You were supposed to receive gelt for Hanukkah, Tikvah remembered as her seven suite mates and she reached Central Avenue and crossed to catch the Number Twenty bus to White Plains.
The real present was of course seeing her father. How many weeks had it been....It had been months. She tried not to think of the last time she saw him, standing in an archway near the kitchen with his own mother. The state troopers had Tikvah by one arm. She had cried like a proverbial banshee. She was going against her will and she wanted the whole neighborhood to hear. After the trooper shoved her in the smelly unmarked car, she stopped screaming. He was hoarse. Her head hurt. Her throat hurt. She was also very tired. Somewhere between New Square and Brooklyn, she fell asleep. She could have slept for days.
Even now the memory of that exhaustion brought a peculiar kind of pain with it. And Albina was right, it would happen again and maybe be worse. Tikvah pressed her face against the bus' dirty window and watched Central Avenue move through tree lined small buildings turned to offices, to a park, to apartments and finally old houses made into businesses. The bus turned at County Center and went up Tarrytown Road to White Plains across the Bronx River Parkway, under the railroad bridge, and into the garage that served as a kind of common center.
Tikvah's legs felt like water. The day was hot and sticky, like summer gone stale and mouldy. The trees looked tired, and ready to turn to fall colors. September was supposed to be the month with a killing front. Tikvah wondered if the weather in Rockland County was cooler. They eight girls and Albina -- She really was a mora that afternoon -- walked down Lexington Ave. and turned left on Main Street.
The Galleria towered like a huge dinosaur of cream colored granite or concrete. It was an old mall, built long before Tikvah was born. It had steps near the place where cars could drive through a kind of tunnel on the first floor. On those steps stood two bearded men in black suits, white shirts, and no ties. On their heads were grayish fedoras. One man was much younger than the other, young enough to still have acne, including several very pink zits. The other man had a slight pot belly, and a few gray hairs in his wooly, brown beard. His eyes were large and sad looking. They were beautiful eyes.
"Tati!" cried Tikvah who ran and hugged her father. She did not care if this embarrassed her suitemates.
"מזל דיין געבורסטאָג טיקוואַה" he said. "מזל דיין געבורסטאָג טיקוואַה."
"מזל דיין געבורסטאָג טיקוואַה"
"מיר גייען אהיים."
וואָס וועט איר טאָן ווען די פּאָליצייַ קומען?
"זיי וועלן ניט קומען. מיר וועלן דיך באַהאַלטן."
"He's lying," thought Tikvah. "He may be lying to himself. He may even think it's possible. After all, a Rav told him he could drive on Shabbos to get me."
"I'm so glad you could come to see your daughter on our outing,"Albina cut in. "We're going to be walking to the Container Store down near The Westchester. We have to hit several banks along the way."
"My car is in the garage."
"Do you want to drive there and join us?" Albina stepped closer to Tikvah. The girl glanced at her briefly. Albina slid her smooth hand over Tikvah's smaller one, and quietly gave it a squeeze.
"I'd like to give my daughter a ride."
"I have to stay with the rest of the girls."
"I understand. Come on Tikvah."
"You don't understand. The Court in Brooklyn says this has to be a supervised visit Mr. Goldberg. Now you can walk with us or meet us."
"וואָס טאָן מיר טאָן איצט?" the young man asked Tikvah's father.
"היט דעם ... "
"לויפן!"
Tikvah focused on the ground. In all her dreams of this moment, she did not imagine herself fighting not to move, but there she was. She remembered leaping the fence six months ago, putting her feet in the chain links and all but vaulting over the top, landing in a rolling fall on the sidewalk, the pain coming from far away, jumping to her feet and racing toward the open car door.
Now she replayed the scene but with her hands twined through the harsh metal links and her father driving away. "צי ניט גיין טאַטעשי!" Tikvah screamed in her mind while her face ached. Slowly she raised her head. Her father and the bochur who had come to protect him from a mora with soft hands and round shoulders cast dark shadows on the sidewalk.
"It's a good day for a walk you know," replied Albina. Tikvah squeezed Albina's hands again. She wondered how she would unfreeze and take a step. She wondered if her leaden legs would obey her, yet they did. Soon all eleven of them were walking through the retail kaleidoscope of Mamaroneck Avenue, crossing the street and making detours at ATM machines and pausing by the Dollar Store and other less expensive emporia. Talking about different food and where to get bargains. The bochur, whose English was poor, was at a loss for words even though Mr. Goldberg, Tikvah's dad happily translated.
Tikvah forgot about her shabby shoes and torn tights. Dad even translated the girls conversations about how to keep ice cream novelties in the pantry, asking how far they had to transport them. "Not very far at all," explained Jupita explained. "We just need the right boxes to put them in."
"מיר נאָר דאַרפֿן די רעכט באָקסעס צו שטעלן זיי אין," Dad told the bochur. "זיי דאַרפֿן אַ וועג צו פירן ייַז קרעם באַרס און סאַנדוויטשיז."
"וואו טאָן זיי באַקומען אייז קרעם?" the bochur asked. "Where do they get ice cream?" Dad translated.
"They serve it in our dining hall," Tikvah replied and then translated. "זיי דינען עס אין אונדזער דיינינג זאַל"
"אַז סאָונדס אַזוי פאַנטאַזיע." "That sounds very fancy," Dad translated.
"The food is decent," Albina explained. "עס איז נישט כשר אָבער עס טייסץ גוט," Tikvah's father turned it back into Yiddish.
The bochur shook his head. Tikvah remembered that the pizza had disappeared Friday night. Now there were hamburgers for those who wanted them and a choice of beans, nuts, and cold cooked grains on the salad bar. The school tried to provide something for absolutely everybody. It didn't care if a Jewish or Moslem kid refused to eat bacon or if a person wanted boxed cookies at every meal.
Tikvah was glad to reach the Wells Fargo bank and withdraw twenty dollars. She also checked her balance narrating to the bochur how to do this in Yiddish. "וווּ איר געלערנט אַז?" the bocher asked. "He wants to know where I learned to use an ATM. "מייַן מוטער געלערנט מיר. My mother taught me," Tikvah explained. Using an ATM unlike swimming would not wash away faith. It was just a convenient way to get money.
They turned down Maple St. and then looped around onto Blookingdale Avenue. The bochur admired the stores. Dad did not. "איז דאָס וואָס איר ווילט?" he asked Tikvah, who thought the question, "Is this what you want?" strange.
"They're just stores," she decided to answer in English. "If they have something I want, I buy it. I like the stores on Mamaroeck Avenue better. I like watching all the people. I can afford what they sell in Walmart." She then translated: "אויב זיי האָבן עפּעס איך ווילן, איך קויפן עס. איך ווי די סטאָרז אויף מאַמאַראָנעקק אַווענוע. איך ווי צו היטן אַלע די מענטשן. איך קען פאַרגינענ זיך וואָס זיי פאַרקויפן אין וואַלמאַרט."
The goal of course was the Container Store. The bochur stared bedazzled and nervous. Tikvah knew this was a women's store, though men could shop for containers, organizers, household gadgets, and even hangers. One girl wanted to buy ten colorful, plastic hangers. Tikvah and Corianne offered to pay for one rectangular container and one fruit bowl respectively. "I need money for shoes," Tikvah mentioned.
"You also need time, which you don't have," sighed Albina. Tikvah's dad translated. He translated allover the store, describing and narrating the wonders of something fairly simple presented in not-so-simple profusion. Meanwhile three other girls each bought one item, and Albina bought an ice cream scoop. She said she would make a printout of who bought what and tape it inside the pantry cupboard. Then Albina explained about how each suite had a pantry for after hours food because there were not vending machines. "The school asks each girl to provide a bottle for soft drinks, but nothing else.That's why we made this trip." Tikvah's dad once again translated.
"If you schedule a trip during an evening, I can give you a tour of our suite. Would you like that?" asked Albina.
Tikvah's dad translated than his face took on an odd expression. "Is this what you want to do the rest of your life?" he asked Albina.
"I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I thought I wanted to earn a PhD."
"In what subject?"
"Philosophy."
"Why?"
"I loved the life of the mind. Hey you're forgetting to translate."
"We all need something more," Tikvah's dad explained.
"I had Orthodox friends in college. It's not for me. I need to earn a living and not be anyone's burden while I figure out my future," she replied. "I have a master's in philsoophy and no holes in my resume. The rest will have to take care of itself. Don't you believe in bitochon."
"Do you?"
"In a fashion. The universe is going to have to take care of the future, while I take care of the present."
"And where does that leave you."
"Responsible for eight children who are starting to become teens. It's like The Prime of Miss Jeanne Brody...have you heard of that."
"I have."
"Then you understand. The Universe is going to have to take care of the future," Albina repeated. They walked back up Bloomingdale Rd., Maple St., and Mamaroneck Ave. carrying their bundles. The air broiled as the sidewalks exhaled. Suri and Nelia complained of the heat. "We can stop at the Dollar store for drinks," Albina offered.
"Dollar store soda sucks!"Suri announced. "We need a translator," Albina reminded Tikvah and her father. Tikvah realized she had spent her birthday between languages, not that that was a bad place to be. She had gone to the Container Store, and they did stop at Walmart on the way back. Tikvah's brown shoes, purchased in May, still fit pretty well and were comfortable. If she bought brown shoe polish and a brush and chamois cloth, she could make them presentable enough with new tights and a reasonably new skirt, shirt, and sweater, that she would look good for Rosh HaShannah. "I'm buying tights with the money mom gave me, and she can't stop me," Tikvah reminded herself.
Still, Tikvah was not prepared to say goodbye to her father. She had to do it. The bochur and Dad walked the girls to the bus and waited until the Number Twenty pulled in. Then Tikvah watched her father drift away as surely as in the what-if scene in an April long ago, except she would see him again. Albina promised to write to the judge and start scheduling supervised visitation weekly if he would make the drive. It might happen.
Tikvah felt her legs ache. She could not remember if it had been an act of will not to break into a run or she had just hung on and hurt because... "The police got me and didn't get my father. They took him to court, but they didn't put him in a car and drive him forty miles against his will. I'm not going through that again..." Tikvah felt a ball of red heat burst behind her eyes. She blinked the hot tears that rushed down her face. Somewhere along the line, Tikvah had learned how to cry without making a sound. Tikvah took the sleeve of her prize sweater and wiped her eyes and nose.
Albina put a candle into a piece of iced cake and slipped her class ring over it. The kids at the table Saturday night sung Happy Birthday, and Tikvah made a wish and blew out the candle. Study hall had been a blur after that, but Tikvah had spent half the evening finishing her English and then reading her book on light. The book was consolation. Yes, that was the same words used to describe the Haf Torah. It meant making a sad person feel better. It was a great word.
There were no presents, but Albina promised to help Tikvah buy some tights. Her mother sent her a birthday card and an Amazon gift certificate for fifty dollars. You were supposed to receive gelt for Hanukkah, Tikvah remembered as her seven suite mates and she reached Central Avenue and crossed to catch the Number Twenty bus to White Plains.
The real present was of course seeing her father. How many weeks had it been....It had been months. She tried not to think of the last time she saw him, standing in an archway near the kitchen with his own mother. The state troopers had Tikvah by one arm. She had cried like a proverbial banshee. She was going against her will and she wanted the whole neighborhood to hear. After the trooper shoved her in the smelly unmarked car, she stopped screaming. He was hoarse. Her head hurt. Her throat hurt. She was also very tired. Somewhere between New Square and Brooklyn, she fell asleep. She could have slept for days.
Even now the memory of that exhaustion brought a peculiar kind of pain with it. And Albina was right, it would happen again and maybe be worse. Tikvah pressed her face against the bus' dirty window and watched Central Avenue move through tree lined small buildings turned to offices, to a park, to apartments and finally old houses made into businesses. The bus turned at County Center and went up Tarrytown Road to White Plains across the Bronx River Parkway, under the railroad bridge, and into the garage that served as a kind of common center.
Tikvah's legs felt like water. The day was hot and sticky, like summer gone stale and mouldy. The trees looked tired, and ready to turn to fall colors. September was supposed to be the month with a killing front. Tikvah wondered if the weather in Rockland County was cooler. They eight girls and Albina -- She really was a mora that afternoon -- walked down Lexington Ave. and turned left on Main Street.
The Galleria towered like a huge dinosaur of cream colored granite or concrete. It was an old mall, built long before Tikvah was born. It had steps near the place where cars could drive through a kind of tunnel on the first floor. On those steps stood two bearded men in black suits, white shirts, and no ties. On their heads were grayish fedoras. One man was much younger than the other, young enough to still have acne, including several very pink zits. The other man had a slight pot belly, and a few gray hairs in his wooly, brown beard. His eyes were large and sad looking. They were beautiful eyes.
"Tati!" cried Tikvah who ran and hugged her father. She did not care if this embarrassed her suitemates.
"מזל דיין געבורסטאָג טיקוואַה" he said. "מזל דיין געבורסטאָג טיקוואַה."
"מזל דיין געבורסטאָג טיקוואַה"
"מיר גייען אהיים."
וואָס וועט איר טאָן ווען די פּאָליצייַ קומען?
"זיי וועלן ניט קומען. מיר וועלן דיך באַהאַלטן."
"He's lying," thought Tikvah. "He may be lying to himself. He may even think it's possible. After all, a Rav told him he could drive on Shabbos to get me."
Quote
TRANSLATION
"Happy Birthday Tikvah!" he cried. "Let's get out of here."
"We're going to the bank and then to the Container Store," Tikvah tried to explain.
"We're going home," her father insisted.
"What will you do when the police come?" asked Tikvah.
"They won't come. We'll hide you."
"I'm so glad you could come to see your daughter on our outing,"Albina cut in. "We're going to be walking to the Container Store down near The Westchester. We have to hit several banks along the way."
"My car is in the garage."
"Do you want to drive there and join us?" Albina stepped closer to Tikvah. The girl glanced at her briefly. Albina slid her smooth hand over Tikvah's smaller one, and quietly gave it a squeeze.
"I'd like to give my daughter a ride."
"I have to stay with the rest of the girls."
"I understand. Come on Tikvah."
"You don't understand. The Court in Brooklyn says this has to be a supervised visit Mr. Goldberg. Now you can walk with us or meet us."
"וואָס טאָן מיר טאָן איצט?" the young man asked Tikvah's father.
"היט דעם ... "
"לויפן!"
Quote
TRANSLATION
"What are we going to do now?" asked the young man.
"Watch this..." Tikvah's father replied.
"RUN!!!!!!"
Tikvah focused on the ground. In all her dreams of this moment, she did not imagine herself fighting not to move, but there she was. She remembered leaping the fence six months ago, putting her feet in the chain links and all but vaulting over the top, landing in a rolling fall on the sidewalk, the pain coming from far away, jumping to her feet and racing toward the open car door.
Now she replayed the scene but with her hands twined through the harsh metal links and her father driving away. "צי ניט גיין טאַטעשי!" Tikvah screamed in her mind while her face ached. Slowly she raised her head. Her father and the bochur who had come to protect him from a mora with soft hands and round shoulders cast dark shadows on the sidewalk.
"It's a good day for a walk you know," replied Albina. Tikvah squeezed Albina's hands again. She wondered how she would unfreeze and take a step. She wondered if her leaden legs would obey her, yet they did. Soon all eleven of them were walking through the retail kaleidoscope of Mamaroneck Avenue, crossing the street and making detours at ATM machines and pausing by the Dollar Store and other less expensive emporia. Talking about different food and where to get bargains. The bochur, whose English was poor, was at a loss for words even though Mr. Goldberg, Tikvah's dad happily translated.
Tikvah forgot about her shabby shoes and torn tights. Dad even translated the girls conversations about how to keep ice cream novelties in the pantry, asking how far they had to transport them. "Not very far at all," explained Jupita explained. "We just need the right boxes to put them in."
"מיר נאָר דאַרפֿן די רעכט באָקסעס צו שטעלן זיי אין," Dad told the bochur. "זיי דאַרפֿן אַ וועג צו פירן ייַז קרעם באַרס און סאַנדוויטשיז."
"וואו טאָן זיי באַקומען אייז קרעם?" the bochur asked. "Where do they get ice cream?" Dad translated.
"They serve it in our dining hall," Tikvah replied and then translated. "זיי דינען עס אין אונדזער דיינינג זאַל"
"אַז סאָונדס אַזוי פאַנטאַזיע." "That sounds very fancy," Dad translated.
"The food is decent," Albina explained. "עס איז נישט כשר אָבער עס טייסץ גוט," Tikvah's father turned it back into Yiddish.
The bochur shook his head. Tikvah remembered that the pizza had disappeared Friday night. Now there were hamburgers for those who wanted them and a choice of beans, nuts, and cold cooked grains on the salad bar. The school tried to provide something for absolutely everybody. It didn't care if a Jewish or Moslem kid refused to eat bacon or if a person wanted boxed cookies at every meal.
Tikvah was glad to reach the Wells Fargo bank and withdraw twenty dollars. She also checked her balance narrating to the bochur how to do this in Yiddish. "וווּ איר געלערנט אַז?" the bocher asked. "He wants to know where I learned to use an ATM. "מייַן מוטער געלערנט מיר. My mother taught me," Tikvah explained. Using an ATM unlike swimming would not wash away faith. It was just a convenient way to get money.
They turned down Maple St. and then looped around onto Blookingdale Avenue. The bochur admired the stores. Dad did not. "איז דאָס וואָס איר ווילט?" he asked Tikvah, who thought the question, "Is this what you want?" strange.
"They're just stores," she decided to answer in English. "If they have something I want, I buy it. I like the stores on Mamaroeck Avenue better. I like watching all the people. I can afford what they sell in Walmart." She then translated: "אויב זיי האָבן עפּעס איך ווילן, איך קויפן עס. איך ווי די סטאָרז אויף מאַמאַראָנעקק אַווענוע. איך ווי צו היטן אַלע די מענטשן. איך קען פאַרגינענ זיך וואָס זיי פאַרקויפן אין וואַלמאַרט."
The goal of course was the Container Store. The bochur stared bedazzled and nervous. Tikvah knew this was a women's store, though men could shop for containers, organizers, household gadgets, and even hangers. One girl wanted to buy ten colorful, plastic hangers. Tikvah and Corianne offered to pay for one rectangular container and one fruit bowl respectively. "I need money for shoes," Tikvah mentioned.
"You also need time, which you don't have," sighed Albina. Tikvah's dad translated. He translated allover the store, describing and narrating the wonders of something fairly simple presented in not-so-simple profusion. Meanwhile three other girls each bought one item, and Albina bought an ice cream scoop. She said she would make a printout of who bought what and tape it inside the pantry cupboard. Then Albina explained about how each suite had a pantry for after hours food because there were not vending machines. "The school asks each girl to provide a bottle for soft drinks, but nothing else.That's why we made this trip." Tikvah's dad once again translated.
"If you schedule a trip during an evening, I can give you a tour of our suite. Would you like that?" asked Albina.
Tikvah's dad translated than his face took on an odd expression. "Is this what you want to do the rest of your life?" he asked Albina.
"I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I thought I wanted to earn a PhD."
"In what subject?"
"Philosophy."
"Why?"
"I loved the life of the mind. Hey you're forgetting to translate."
"We all need something more," Tikvah's dad explained.
"I had Orthodox friends in college. It's not for me. I need to earn a living and not be anyone's burden while I figure out my future," she replied. "I have a master's in philsoophy and no holes in my resume. The rest will have to take care of itself. Don't you believe in bitochon."
"Do you?"
"In a fashion. The universe is going to have to take care of the future, while I take care of the present."
"And where does that leave you."
"Responsible for eight children who are starting to become teens. It's like The Prime of Miss Jeanne Brody...have you heard of that."
"I have."
"Then you understand. The Universe is going to have to take care of the future," Albina repeated. They walked back up Bloomingdale Rd., Maple St., and Mamaroneck Ave. carrying their bundles. The air broiled as the sidewalks exhaled. Suri and Nelia complained of the heat. "We can stop at the Dollar store for drinks," Albina offered.
"Dollar store soda sucks!"Suri announced. "We need a translator," Albina reminded Tikvah and her father. Tikvah realized she had spent her birthday between languages, not that that was a bad place to be. She had gone to the Container Store, and they did stop at Walmart on the way back. Tikvah's brown shoes, purchased in May, still fit pretty well and were comfortable. If she bought brown shoe polish and a brush and chamois cloth, she could make them presentable enough with new tights and a reasonably new skirt, shirt, and sweater, that she would look good for Rosh HaShannah. "I'm buying tights with the money mom gave me, and she can't stop me," Tikvah reminded herself.
Still, Tikvah was not prepared to say goodbye to her father. She had to do it. The bochur and Dad walked the girls to the bus and waited until the Number Twenty pulled in. Then Tikvah watched her father drift away as surely as in the what-if scene in an April long ago, except she would see him again. Albina promised to write to the judge and start scheduling supervised visitation weekly if he would make the drive. It might happen.
Tikvah felt her legs ache. She could not remember if it had been an act of will not to break into a run or she had just hung on and hurt because... "The police got me and didn't get my father. They took him to court, but they didn't put him in a car and drive him forty miles against his will. I'm not going through that again..." Tikvah felt a ball of red heat burst behind her eyes. She blinked the hot tears that rushed down her face. Somewhere along the line, Tikvah had learned how to cry without making a sound. Tikvah took the sleeve of her prize sweater and wiped her eyes and nose.


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